The Biggest Loser

In all of this Angel is the biggest loser. When Angel sees that Perfect has no joy if I am in the house, he then associates me as the bad person. I am the one that brings sadness to Perfect, so I must be the bastard. Perfect does have joy most of the time when she interacts with Angel. The only time she does not is when she attempts to say no to him. Then he rages and she gives in most of the time, or she makes it look like she worked it out with him, which basically means she caved in. I think she does that to maintain some joy in her life. I know I crave it, and Angel is the only thing that brings her that, so to maintain any form of sanity, she gives into Angel so she can still be his friend and have joy in their interactions.

Because of our poor relationship Angel has a very skewed perception of what a family should be. He does not know how to have joy, we don't model it. He does not know how to be a loving Father or loving Mother, we don't model it. He does not know how to be a loving husband, I don't model it. Angel is at the mercy of his environment, which bring me great despair and sadness. I pray almost daily asking that the Atonement of Jesus Christ will heal those things that I am inadvertently inflicting upon him on a daily basis just for being in our home.